Cat Preparations and Other Minutia
Today the kids had an unexpected snow day (sort of – they did manage to get in about one hour of school before everything shut down). I kept them out of my office for a few hours, but finally gave in and decided to work on turning my bedroom into a cat habitat. Jim and I were originally going to segregate the cats in the basement for the three months (or so) that Ana would need to be kept away from them, but that plan backfired. First of all, the basement is freezing. I literally saw my breath the other day when I was rotating laundry.
The basement is also a horrible mess and it’s beyond my ability to clean it. It needs INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH cleaning. It was Jim’s makeshift wood shop all last year, so there is a thick layer of sawdust all over everything. There is also a thick layer of junk that needs to be gone through and thrown away before it’s even remotely safe for full time cat habitation. I found Luna prowling around in the ceiling yesterday. So…NEW PLAN! The cats will reside in our bedroom for a few months. There is a huge walk in closet attached to the bedroom which they will also have access to. Our bedroom is enormous with lots of bright light (that was another thing about the basement – no real sunlight).
Once we made the decision, I went to work clearing out all excess clutter and moving their scratching tree thingy up there (with Jim’s help – that thing is huge).
That’s not the actual cat tree, but you get the picture.
I also got rid of a couple of pieces of furniture to make room for a little kitty bathroom area and added a couple of empty baskets in opportune locations for cat naps. Did you know cats sleep up to 22 hours a day? I know, right! Anyway, I think they’ll be a lot more comfortable and it’ll be way easier to spend time with them if they’re upstairs.
I don’t know what got into me today. I was in a sort of frenzy of preparation. I felt a sense of urgency that I am dearly hoping is some kind of premonition or sixth sense. If we get the call tonight – we can easily set the cats up in the bedroom. I’ve also been doing laundry like a mad woman and actually keeping the house somewhat clean (I know, right!). I even paid the mortgage before the 1st (that’s a huge deal for me – I’ve basically convinced myself that the mortgage isn’t technically due until the 15th of the month.)
I wonder if living like a bomb is about to go off any second changes the chemistry in a person’s brain. Will I have PTSD long after Ana’s had her transplant and life is back to normal. Oh how I love writing that!
Life back to normal. Life back to normal.
A friend of mine is undergoing radiation for breast cancer and she wrote in her blog (which I won’t link to right now because I’m not sure she wants to broadcast it) “I’m trying to be Me, but I feel like my diagnosis scared Me away, and I’m left with all the other crap. And anytime Me tries to sneak back in, there is a reminder.”
Yes! So completely YES! That’s exactly what I feel like too – only it’s not me going through it, it’s Ana. But she is such an extension of me. When does that stop? When they graduate high school? When they have kids of their own? She still sits next to me and puts her head on my shoulder. My heart aches every time she does that. So I am not Me either – I am this lost, wandering ghost trying to fit in with the rest of the world, but stuck on the periphery. I’m a pressure cooker about to explode. So instead of working a full day, I abandomed my desk at 3 pm and created a cat habitat in my bedroom. Ana enjoyed it, until she went into her room and fell asleep because she had a fever of 100.8 and looked awful. I hope that fever is from a cold, but I am not so sure. She just looks…not well. She has an appointment with Dr. Hochberg tomorrow and I plan on going with her – hopefully I’m making myself crazy over nothing. Fever, tumor, peeling skin, pain in her abdomen – nothing to worry about, right!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a kitty bathroom to set up.