9 Comments So Far

  1. That tree is beautiful, and darn better than I could ever draw. That you are writing, too, is wonderful. Yes, it can be easy to write at times. But it is difficult to write well, and that you do. I am amazed at your completing the book and working on another. But then….this is part of your life force.

    My heart and care and energy are with Ana, and you, Jim, and Emily, and the entire family. This time has been so excruciating, from the sounds of it, and yet your life force is there creating, persisting, and loving. It is what makes you a wonderful mother, too. Love to you…

  2. Jackie- I get your frustration. You are feeling so many emotions inside and want, no NEED to express them. You WANT to DRAW, give a voice to your feelings. Yet- no matter how you try, you cannot adequately express what you see and feel in your mind.
    Sometimes, I think it’s like trying to speak a foreign language. You know WHAT you want to say, but don’t know HOW to say it to make everyone understand.
    You WANT results, but when they don’t come, it’s frustrating. Just as the rest of life for you right now. I see and feel the agitation in this drawing.
    I too, will write as the words more concretely say what I’m feeling, but it’s not enough- the pressure cooker, the water building behind the dam…. needs a release.
    Keep at it, it’s therapy, no matter how you get it out, artistically, it’s who you ARE and it needs a voice.
    Keeping you all in my prayers.


  3. Dearest Jackie,

    Bliss Carmen wrote …

    “Set me a task in which I can put something of my very self, and it is a task no longer; it is joy; it is art.”

    If love is known as a ‘Life Art’ then I think that you have continued to add to your personal heart’s Masterpiece … may you long embrace it.

    Louise in Montreal

  4. Jackie,
    Do not know if you can see the time on each post, but it is 4:27 am. My heart is with you. These are our babies and this shit is so not fair.
    We do not know what lies ahead of them, us. Please keep as strong as you can. And keep writing about your feelings, your hopes your fears.
    One vision I keep in mind is my son Zach going to his Senior Prom. See it my friend and start to believe it. Faith, Love, and Hope for Anna.

  5. Hi Jackie – I hear so much of myself in your writing this summer… and perhaps I need to sit down and sketch. But here is what I see in your drawing… the tree…it is alive, and it is growing.. this is great… It also shows the winds of change in its leaves… so there is a great amount of movement in the image…. another good thing… I think that it overall shows great hope. And for that, it is worthy. I will be praying for you, your family, and Ana. She is a strong young woman… missing some of 8th grade will be okay because she is loved and cared for by her classmates and teachers (and the entire school). And the others that have written say this far more eloquently than I could… don’t judge your work… could you judge a scream underwater (that is what I do with my sorrows and frustrations). I no longer have expectations of what I can get done… If I can say I tried my best in trying times, I figure I’m ahead… Sending so much love and even more prayers…. Betty

  6. Oh Jackie you are so hard on yourself. From one artist to another, put your sketches aside for a while, and given time, you may find them more pleasing?. That has often been my experience. Judge them less, feel free to just exist in the time out, in the singular focus that drawing offers, it really can be a gift. I honestly think your tree is quite lovely, worthy of the pleasure I get from enjoying it, I am NOT just saying that to make you feel better, cause I hope your feel better will come from the doing, not the judging. I hope you will continue to find moments for sketching, but even if you don’t stay with drawing, DO stay with the writing, your voice is so eloquent!

  7. This tree is beautiful, and so is your family. I’m continuing to pray for you all. Do what you need to in order to nourish YOU! I love that you find strength in writing and drawing. Writing has been key for managing my anxiety disorder.

  8. Susan said it better than I could. Draw because you enjoy it..if you don’t enjoy it, if you can’t just lose yourself in it and it doesn’t make you happy, don’t do it. That’s why I draw. When I’m sitting at my easel and drawing and listening to my music, I’m completely happy. What I’m doing doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. As for the summer..in the midst of everything going on with Ana you published a book and sent a second one to the editor! stop beating yourself up! I love you. The tree is very good…

  9. so the thing we always say with making and teaching art is to first have fun and then to just do and then to let the art make and teach you. There are no wrong answers. So I love your drawing and think it is beautiful but perhaps for you what you were drawing was the concept of “all wrong”. Either way you nailed it and you are allowed to keep at it and to keep failing your mark but also cherish, respect and learn from those pieces that don’t work out just like you want. Sometimes visual art is about expanding our hands. Come and play with clay up on our mountain with (or without) your family anytime. And I will share what one nurse and several doctors keep reminding me “hang in there”. You all are loved.

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