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  1. Love as always, prayers as always, it’s a shock every night that my prayers have changed but they are still there. It’s so natural I believe they always will be now.

    The water bottle. I love you, Jackie. It’s that sort of detail that just opens a window on grief. There’s a small filet mignon in my freezer that I just look at and will probably never eat because I don’t know how to really prepare it and my father died in January and I can’t ask him. I know I can ask others. I don’t want to. Talking to my dad about cooking (I can’t cook, and don’t even really enjoy it, but it was great talking to him about it) was such a thing for me, I can’t bear to cook it (or ruin it, most likely.) I could not bear to defrost/eat the last scone my mom made. I didn’t wash No No Jo’s blanket for over a year.

    I know you’re all surrounded by love right now. Amen to that, and it’s still flowing from here in MA and always will!

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