Tragedy takes many shapes. Ana learned that today when she logged into Instagram and saw pictures of sobbing parents – the lucky ones holding their children close. I made her turn it off. I told her not to log in for at least 24 hours, but it was too late.
She said, “Mommy, it’s so sad. All those kids. Why did this happen?”
And I said, “Ana, sometimes there is no reason. None whatsoever. It’s exactly like cancer.” And she got it, which breaks my heart even more.
We hold onto our children as tight as we can, but sometimes it’s not tight enough. Sometimes we can’t save them from evil – whether that evil grows inside of them, or appears out of nowhere, and takes them from us – just like that. We live in fear of that darkness finding us.
I am crying as if those children were my own. I am crying, irrationally, because I couldn’t save them. My heart goes out to all the families of this tragedy – senseless, mindless, without reason. My tears are your tears tonight, my own heartache is on hold so I can lend it to you. I am so, so sorry.
Tonight I tucked both my kids in, and give them a kiss and an extra hug. I know I’ll see them in the morning. Last night, I didn’t realize how very lucky that makes me.