10 Comments So Far

  1. Sent you a long winded email – but sending you extra, extra, extra love. Stress is a real bitch – try to find a moment to breathe. Find a way to remove yourself for even 20 minutes – longer if you can. Meditate. Have a glass of wine and read a vain magazine. Whatever it takes. Go window shopping. Find a place to scream (we have our studio – I suppose you might have that too?) Love you guys. xoxo

  2. Hi Jackie – what you are feeling is perfectly normal given the roller coaster you have been on for almost 6 months. It is OK to be frustrated and desperate and not positive and out of control. Try and do any of the things that the folks before me have suggested but also understand that what you are feeling is valid and give yourself permission to grieve for the dreams you had before and when you can, to dream new dreams. This is such a challenging time and really stressful.Lean on anyone you need to. Let people around you care for you so that if you do need to be under your desk, it is a safe haven and not a deep dark place. Do what I suggest to the children I work with – make a safe place for yourself with things you like to look at and to feel, to read or to watch, and withdraw there to take some breaths when you need to. Take care of yourself and love to Ana and Jim and Emily. Natasha misses Ana. Mary-Ann

  3. It sounds like the medical team at New-York Presbyterian is keeping so much on top of this, with the tests. While waiting for the test results is very, very difficult, I am sure, I always remind myself that they do these tests so they can keep on top of things and head them off. Last night, I also kept thinking about the high, high success rate of that liver transplant team.

    I hope you avail yourself of whomever you need to lean on — counseling, Jim, family, dear friends. Keep flooding your mind — it’s called mind-storming — with positive images as much as possible. And ultimately, I would take this cue from Ana, who has that inner wisdom and spunky nature that keeps blowing us away — she is making lists, taking charge, researching, writing. (I think she picks this up from her folks!) Allow yourself to get right in there with her: Picture which vegetables and fruits you all will grow and savor in Jim’s garden in the spring, when you will go to the frog pond, which movies are coming. Whatever it takes to engage your mind as much as possible.

    This is so hard, but Ana is truly on her way to healing. As the phrase goes and as we see — even in her daily actions – we gotta believe.

    Love from Susan

    • Please send my love and good thoughts to Jim. I always want to know how he is doing each day. I am so glad that he is cooking those home-cooked meals and that you are getting into the kitchen, too. Wow!

  4. Jackie, I’m glad someone in your family (Judy) has suggested Xanax. Would you also consider some kind of counseling for yourself? Does the transplant team provide such a resourse? It sounds insensitive for a stranger like me to suggest this to someone I don’t know, but since YOU acknowledge that you’re ready to burst, I hope you’ll listen to the cue. There is no weakness in finding additional strength from outside yourself.

  5. I feel soooooo terrible sad for you ,nobody can truly know the pain the you are going through ,unless you have been through the exact same thing ,but I can only imagine.. I think it is good for you to write all these feelings down to let people know how you feel .We feel with you . Maybe it helps just a little bit to know you are not alone ,I hope so . I will keep praying for Ana

  6. Moms worry. Its our job. I feel for you, this whole situation sucks. Sometimes you just cant help but let your emotions take over. Your entitled to blow off some steam and bite someones head off once in awhie. You have been on quite a rollercoaster ride since August and you have handled it remarkably. YOU ALL HAVE. Just know there are many people praying for all of you and for Ana to come out on the other side of this. HEALED.

  7. It sounds so trivial so please forgive me but just keep writing. With every word you process a little piece perhaps without even realizing it. Much love to all of you.

  8. Go to the gym and do some exercise. listen to music. meditate. No, scratch that..go to the gym and take one of thoose spin classes… It will release some nice endorphins and help you to sleep. If you think you need a sleep med short term get one. Try (I KNOW it’s hard) to take things day at a time. Take a Xanax if you are about to flip out..that’s what they’re for…Look, I worry too…(I just bottle it all up and get an ulcer.) .you are dealing with things as they occur with Ana..she will be ok because you and Jim will make sure she’s ok…PLEASE take care of yourself…don’t make me hit you…I love you..Mom

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