Our first full week at home without any visits to any hospitals is coming to a close. It’s been hectic and stressful and overwhelming not because of Ana’s illness, but because of work and school and NORMAL stuff. Well, I guess that’s not exactly true. All of the day-to-day stuff is part of getting back to “normal” but now we have to roll in some of the new stuff – like Ana’s medication, daily weight tracking and the fact that she finally got her hair cut.
And speaking of that…
Thanks to Denise and Adrienne at Trends in Kingston for helping Ana get through an incredibly difficult experience with only a minimal amount of tears. Denise cut Ana’s hair – which really needed to be cut. It’s very short now with a bit of old hair mixed in with the new growth. Ana looks beautiful, but she’s not ready to let me post a picture of her without her hat just yet. Baby steps. As her hair grows in I’ll bring her back to Denise for frequent trims and the extra special treat of a manicure with Adrienne. Ana got gel polish on Wednesday and she just LOVES her nails.
There’s something about getting your hair cut surrounded by familiar friendly faces that has a real healing quality about it. I’ve never been so grateful for having something as simple as a local salon to go to. Denise, thank you for cutting Ana’s hair. It was so very hard for her to let that last little bit go, but your calm reassurance made it as painless as possible. Now maybe I can plan to get MY hair cut pretty soon.
And speaking of local community support. Thanks to Mike, the manager at Adam’s in Lake Katrine, and to those who shop there and contributed money towards Ana’s health expenses. I stopped by there today and Mike handed me a check which will help cover some of our insurance deductible for the year. The community really came together to help us – once again. I’m beginning to understand that quote, “It takes a village…”
Lately I’ve been wondering how long I should keep updating the blog. I mean, Ana’s on the mend and will hopefully be getting better each month. I said that to someone at a dinner party the other day and she said, “You’ll know when it’s time to stop writing.” I don’t feel like it’s time just yet. I’m still trying to grasp where we are in the midst of this journey – and what it will mean for all of us, especially Ana. Sometimes I cry because it’s all so overwhelming and for things that seem inexplicable – like today when I saw a picture of Ana and Emily from a couple of years ago. It just made me think, “Wow, she was so healthy. We were so lucky!” And then I got choked up, and then I got mad at myself for giving in to self pity. Sometimes I just feel angry. When I see the surgical site and the bruises that are still fading all over Ana’s body, I think, “Why Ana?”
There’s no real answer to that. I know that. There’s only acceptance, which I’m working towards. But I’m not there yet, so I have to keep writing.