7 Comments So Far

  1. All these things to worry about…….without crying when you can or feel the need, you would explode. Do it as often as possible, its a tension reliever.
    Ana looks beautiful in the above picture.
    HUGS

  2. This post is so profound and conveys how frightening that cramping had to be for Ana and you. Sometimes the earth shifts in such major ways that the simple beauty and love of each moment and hour – the elemental things become all the more cherished. Those weekend times, at crafts and karate, sound like that. Tonight I am keeping Ana in my prayers for continued healing and you all, especially that you can start getting some good sleep! I know it must be so difficult to relax at all or to not feel upset SO MUCH at what Ana is dealing with. I am sure Ana feels so much strength from you and Jim. She is goong to have a wonderful garden someday soon, and Emily will keep knocking everyone’s socks off eith her prowess.

  3. I am a fellow high meadow parent, with kids a bit younger then your girls. I came upon your blog at the start of your journey and felt compelled to keep reading. A little bit of background is that my oldest son, who is now five, was born with some very unexpected complications. It was unclear if it was a lack of oxygen sometime during labor and delivery or if he had a genetic metabolic disorder. The days following his birth were filled with tests, scans, lumbar punctures and a frenzy of worry and unknowns. When nothing definitive was found they assumed ” transient insult to the brain” and sent us on our way with a army of specialists to follow up with. I spent Noah’s first year seeing neurologists and geneticists…. Worrying, waiting for the other shoe to drop, all while trying to move on with life and enjoy my baby boy. The ” wait and see” game was pure torture. As days turned into years and he grew and flourished I thought that everything surely would be o.k, because he was ” ok” . But it was simply… Not that simple. PTSD is a tricky thing. I was diagnosed a few years after he was born, when my intense worry and fear that something would show up ” wrong” with him damn near drove me to the brink of insanity! A simple cold or rash surely meant some deadly symptom of some unknown genetic disease. A delay in speech or motor skills surely meant cerebral palsy just like they predicted. Weird twitch? Surely the seizures from his newborn days were back. I could go on and on and on. But I just wanted to say I am so sorry you have to dredge through this mine field of worry… It is so utterly exhausting!!! Do know, that it will have its ups and downs and it will get better…. Then sometimes worse… But then back to better again. It has to get better, right?! From one mom to another, and from one overly anxious PTSD mamma to another, big hugs!!!

  4. Passers-by must think you have weird kids. You should dress up Emily in black and have her walk around the yard with a giant book of poetry.

  5. Jackie, how could you not break down and cry sometimes. You’re living in a world of mind-boggling unknowns where giant bruises mean nothing and a hand cramp is cause for concern. Your mind must be constantly racing. The more amazing thing is that you can so easily and frequently find the joys. Getting outside on a day like today with your girls and some chalk- what a simple and beautiful idea! Remember, those moments will eventually outnumber the scarey ones.

    (It looks like Ana’s got a great hair cut. Long bangs with short hair? I think it’s great!)

  6. Try to schedule a daily nap.the last thing you need is to walk around sleep deprived all the time..eventually you will be able to kick the cats out of your bedroom but until you do a nap is your best bet. I don’t think you’re overreacting when something happens..It hasn’t been that long since the surgery, and you’re hyper vigilent. ..how can you not be? And you’re exhausted..Take a nap..I love you ..xxxx

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