13 Comments So Far

  1. This is a beautiful, clarifying, wise essay. It makes me believe that thousands of parents would love a copy of it, to read and hold. I’ve wondered about this, during Ana’s illness, as people – well-intentioned and loving – made suggestions to pass along. However, it has always appeared like you are working closely with Ana’s medical team and trusting them for the best course.

    I love the story of the snake oil! I hope you and Jim can stay out of the tailspin of doubt. If there is something to do, you have been doing it and more! I continue to pray and send love every day. You all are in my heart each day. Know that you and Jim are doing exactly what is needed constantly to love your girls and support Ana in this very tough fight. Love and hugs.

  2. Vice? Sigh… If only all of life’s horrors could be fixed in 40 minutes. {{{ hugs }}}

    “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
    Bertrand Russell

  3. Jackie, very well said. I know what that feels like – people telling you about every alternative you must try and even there being too many choices to try of western medicine and not knowing which to go with. Feeling like your child’s life is literally in your hands and feeling like you are a failure as a parent b/c you wonder if, somehow, you caused this mess or you think you should be able to have the right answer, the one that will make your child whole again. What you have to go through on a regular basis – worrying about Ana (and Emily, in turn) and back and forth appts, etc, is enough. You should not feel like you are doing anything but the best for your child – because you are! I am so sorry for everything you have to deal with and so wish that my prayers could take it all away. I know we never met, but I know you are doing all you can and doing the best you can – and that is all you can do. You are an amazing mother. I am keeping you all in my prayers every day.

  4. Dear Jackie and family,
    This is such a heartfelt, informed and well-written reflection and assessment of your current status measured against the expansive professional medical knowledge base with which you all have wrestled these past 2 years. While you have lived with terrors, hopes, successes and false starts, it sounds like you, Jim, Ana and Emily are on a steady course. I hope Emily has recovered from the flu infection. How disappointing to delay your trip to CA. Knowing how intentional you are, and how you scramble behind the scenes to get things done, I am sure you all will get there when the time is right. Much love to you.

  5. This is a beautifully written account of life on the razor’s edge – a place for delicate balance indeed. After my experience, when people ask what got us through, I always mention the need to trust your medical team. If you don’t, whatever happens you will look back and wonder: did I do everything I could have? So it sounds like you are in the best possible place with an incredibly tough situation. Sending strength, as always.

  6. If there was a magic potion that could erase the thought of “failure” of ANY kind on your part, Jackie, I’d milk all the snakes in China to produce it for you. <3

  7. Wonderful post Jackie. I say it again – you are doing an amazing job. I can’t imagine anyone doing more than you and Jim have done for Ana.

  8. If there’s a ‘right’ thing to do for Ana, you’re doing it. Amongst everything being faced, your thoughts are clear.

  9. Reading between these lines I have to offer a big HUG, and absolute support for your choice to communicate this message, so perfectly! May it be honored! Never doubt that there are stars in your crown, surely your family is the gold standard for giving/living your best. YES! onward with love, Bonnie

  10. Confusion has its cost, it’s hard not to be so, we must go the course and pray the doctors
    with wisdom and hope an answer will come never stop hoping for that miracle. God uses doctors.
    At the same time on the side it does not harm to correctly research the alternative that has a standing proven record and then pray for a word on it. While continuing the course taken
    until it dead ends and then still pray while putting out healing spirits of hope It is never over
    till the fat lady sings u have always heard. So never stop hoping, never stop praying until
    that which you been hoping and praying for no longer has the need one way or another.
    And then still pray.
    All my hopes and prayers… and love and hugs,


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