6 Comments So Far

  1. Well, everyone has said it better, but I know I’m fortunate to work for an employer that allows me to value my private time – plenty of folks at my company work long hours and are always plugged in, but not me – when the end of my workday comes, or my weekend, I almost always unplug and walk away (there are times when I can’t.)

    It’s not even that I personally have something better to do; I just need my time. If I don’t get to unplug, I’m going to become unhappy and my performance will suffer. No job, no client, no professional advancement is worth it to me if I lose my happiness. I’d rather bow out in that case and allow a more ambitious individual to take over.

    Sometimes we need to push ourselves, but we should all strive to have enough self awareness to know our limits and personal needs. Sounds like you’re clear on that part, so if pushing back doesn’t work, letting go might.

  2. Thank you!! Such great advice from everyone. I feel a lot better (and less stressed). I almost deleted this post because it’s kind of far removed from the day-to-day health stuff I’ve been posting, I’m glad I didn’t.

  3. Be kind and firm with your boundaries and you might be surprised that they are respected. I am having many of the same struggles – how to say no and how to set boundaries with people. We look at our children now at middle childhood and realize that in 10 more years they will be adults. This feeling of wanting to put on the brakes and slow things down and be present with our families is strong. For me, it is one of the biggest lessons of growing up and I am still working on it at age 50. Practicing this takes you into many territories – like you spoke of – such as setting priorities, doing meaningful work and releasing any trace of victim-hood. It takes you to good places. As women and mothers we confuse sacrifice with service. I have figured out that I get a lot of strength from service and giving but not from sacrifice. It is not healthy for people to push into the boundaries we set. When we stand firm we are also teaching others things they need to learn. It’s a powerful form of deep self respect and respect for others. Ive thought a lot about this and your blog sucked me in. I am so inspired that you’ve made it a priority to WRITE through all of this journey of healing Ana. You are amazing.

  4. I have been in this position many times and what I have discovered is that from a business perspective, these types of clients wind up COSTING me money (in hours) and do not match my client profile.

    You are certainly not being unprofessional for designing and selecting only clients that match your design. In fact it is the opposite.

    My life has gotten better in every way since I started becoming more discerning about clients, which HAS sometimes meant that I had to get out of a contract that I started before I realized that the client was wrong for me.

  5. It’s always a balance between work and life. For some people work is life and those people may never understand the needs other people have. In my opinion you need to do what’s best for you both emotionally and work related, well, in all things actually. From the description of this person in your post he will never understand your needs BUT that’s not your fault.

    I believe you would do all you could for this client if there were an actual emergency. Since he hired you as the expert he needs to respect your judgement when it comes to the things you were hired to do. As the expert you need to make sure you don’t brush off a clients real emergencies for personal reasons. The client needs to understand that and respect your reasons and explanation. If there is no trust between you and the client the business relationship will never work.

    I don’t know that this client loves their job as you suggest. There could be many reasons he acts the way he does but whatever they are he may not be a match for your business acumen. Most importantly you can not blame yourself or feel bad because you will not provide 24/7 dedication to a non existent problem.

    I should add one more thing that I’m sure you already know. When you own and run a business it is not a 9 to 5 M-F job. It takes a tremendous amount of time and dedication to keep that business successful. Perhaps tripling the hourly rate when a client demands your help out of hours may ease the pain or you may just have to chalk this one up to someone not worth the effort and aggravation.

    Telling this client to take a hike is not a failure, it’s a business decision. You just need to understand and accept that’s all it is and you can’t please everybody. I know it’s a difficult decision to make and I also know you will agonize over it but then you’re my Jackie and I’m sure it will be the right decision.

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