This Day Needs to End
This is the worst day ever. I remember Emily said that to me the day after we got home from the hospital after her bone graft and her face was so swollen that she was completely unrecognizable. We’d had to turn all the mirrors around in the house so she couldn’t see herself. I thought that was the worst day ever, but I was wrong. This is worse.
Abdominal surgery is extremely painful, but spontaneous abdominal surgery on a child who just two weeks ago was walking the streets of Montreal with her grandmother and cousin in seemingly good health is excruciating. Ana traded her I.V. and Lovenox shots (temporarily) for the agony of recovery. The simplest things are a major effort for her because her stomach hurts so much. She is supposed to walk as much as possible, but only managed one short walk down the hall today which completely wiped her out.
She needs to walk at least one more time before she can settle in for the night. I told her at 7:30 that she could rest for 30 minutes and then we’d walk at 8:00. It’s now 7:57 and I’m am watching the minutes tick by far too quickly. I’m trying to steel myself for this walk, which should only take ten minutes or so, but will take three times as long due to her pain. Thirty agonizing minutes of not being able to make it better. I can’t make anything better! This is the absolute worst position for a mother to be in. I just want to kiss the hurt away and make it all better, and I can’t. I hate this stupid day.