5 Comments So Far

  1. At our 3 month mark (close to your I have now decided to let go of the heavy grief and despair and overwhelming heaviness of my heart, and have found that in in the return to my former self (before I was a pretty happy go lucky easy going person) I have felt the presence of Evan more than before once I let the heaviness go. Perhaps beautiful angel souls of our children cannot dwell in darkness but need the light to emerge. I do not wish to be stuck in my grief. I wish to honor my child but move forward into our lives as he would have so wanted. I am sure Ana wishes the same for you and your family.

  2. “I was riding the imagined cadence of your voice
    long before you were born”

    Wow, yay, bravo, my inner bell is resonating.

    I’m still finding myself having moments (this happens in basically a half of a second or so) where I want to share something good or ask for advice about something troubling, and my brain unconsciously thinks “I’ll call…”

    Oh. And then I remember again I can’t. At first, this was like a punch in the gut, deflating whatever good thing I was thinking about or making the troubling thing worse. I still deflate a bit when this happens, but on the flip side I’m starting to view this as a little reminder of how very close my Dad still is, even though at the same time so far away.

    Love you, Jackie!

  3. Wow, that poem is so brilliantly beautiful, I am in awe. I am listening to YOUR voice now, and grateful for your sharing. There is no way for me to empathize sufficiently, I know that much. But listening to you fills me with a little connection to what is beyond my own experience, and that is good. Isn’t that why we all listen to each other? To deepen our understanding of life? I was moved by the powerful and painful memoir Wave, a woman’s unbearable loss to the tsunami. I have NO idea if it would be useful to you in any way. I trust you will know and read or not. Thank you again for sharing that poem, it is a keeper! xoxox and LOVE. .

  4. I love everything about this post, except of course the reason you wrote it. I’ve been feeling exactly the same things. I even confided in Banyan that I’ve been feeling guilty when I have dreams that don’t include Benji. I long for him to appear, or to have a fresh memory, or to see another owl. Banyan told me to stop trying so hard. Benji is always here. He knows that without questioning it. Ana is always here.

  5. She is the breeze in the window, the bird in the sky, the light in the morning and the sunset at night . She will be with you always as she lives on in your heart. I love you always here if you need me

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